Go On and Take It

In the spring of my twenty-second year, with twenty-three just around the summer's corner, I finally began writing songs. Its odd for me to think about it, how when I was younger, as in really young (maybe nine) I used to look at songwriters and the whole idea of songwriting and think, "Wow. That is so cool. I wish so bad I could write songs." After awkwardly fumbling around some chords I thought, "Oh, thats for talented people. The naturally gifted. If only I could write songs."

In high school I remember looking at the people that took AP classes and honors classes, I considered them to be in a different league of studies. Brainiacs. I never, ever once considered taking an honors class. "Man, those classes are for smart kids," I thought. I never told myself it was possible. I never told myself I could do it. And whats worse, neither did a teacher.

Disclaimer: I am fully aware that my album is not some sort of ground-breaking piece of material. Its not going to shake the world, it won't even shake a community. That being said, its still really, really good for a normal average-joe like me. My point is this: if someone would have shown me the When the World Was Young EP when I was in high school (or even farther back like when I was nine and thought writing songs was for the talented and intelligent people) and said, "Hey little man, you're going to write this." I would have just laughed at them. Or crapped my pants. Or maybe both. But at least if there were some sort of thread of belief in myself I would not have waited fourteen years to start doing the thing I love because I felt under-qualified.

My point is simple. What is it that you want? Find a way. And no matter what, you have to do it for you. I may not make platinum albums, and I may never make so much as a ripple in the music world. But hey, I get to write songs. I get to play music with my friends. And I get to look at my students and tell them the things that no teacher ever told me: that they can, and they are worth it. And if they want it, they can have it.

Such An Amateur

Inspiration is for amateurs? Maybe. Well... its possible. Okay I'm sure it probably is. It can be a wonderful tool when its available, however, the simple fact is that it just isn't always available. Furthermore, a full reliance on inspiration alone can be crippling to one's creative endeavors. I'm sure of this.

Of all the songs I've ever written I can honestly say only a few of them were 100% born and brought to fruition - from beginning to end - of pure inspiration. So often when speaking to people they say things like, "...don't worry about it, you just gotta let it come" or "you can't force a song, you can't sit down to write a song, you gotta let it flow." I beg to differ. Sure, I believe you shouldn't force a lyric and you should work and craft till you find the right touch. Key word: work. If I adhered strictly to the "let-it-flow" mold of thinking my entire catalogue of songs would come down to two or three... maybe.

I have a specific song to post with this blog and a reason for posting it. This is a brand new song and I really, really disliked this song and everything about the process of writing it from the beginning to the end, so much so that I actually scrapped the song several times but eventually finished it out of sheer discipline. Ironically, upon completion (and not a moment before) I actually came to really enjoy the song and appreciate how it was different from the stuff I typically write, almost like a painting that looked and felt like a mess but once it was finished and I could step back I was glad I finished it, even if it was simply out of discipline.

Chuck Close, an extremely successful and gifted painter said this in an interview:

Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work and the belief that things will grow out of the activity itself and that you will, through work, bump into other possibilities and kick open other doors that you would never dream up if you were just sitting around looking for a great art idea. And that a belief in that the process, in a sense, is liberating and that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel everyday. Today you know what you will do, you could be doing what you were doing yesterday and tomorrow you are going to do what you did today and at least for a certain period of time if you can just work to hang in there, you will get somewhere.

And I think in one paragraph he pretty much summed up the Rising Street blog. I especially liked what he said about things growing out of the activity itself and believing in the process. I'm not nearly as disciplined as I should be. And I am definitely an amateur. But I'm working to rely more and more on work and less and less on inspiration. This song is a testament.

you are the one

***rough demo recorded in garageband on my computer with an acoustic and rhodes keys -- for some reason soundcloud has not been consistent and so if its not working just click the "you are the one" song title and it will take you to the page where you can listen to it there

Trails

This last year held a few things of great import; I released an EP, I played some shows and got some radio play, and I finished my first year of teaching high school in Somerset, KY. I can't help but think of how often I saw the 15/16-year-old version of myself in those kids, among other things. An acceptance of the mundane marked a vast majority of the younger generation, and any time I would try to speak life or a destiny of greatness into them, it almost seemed as if I was speaking a different language. I did not, however, blame them in the least. I grew up in a similar mindset, a belief that when it came to gifting you either had it or you didn't. If there is one thing I hope I distilled in my kids its this: that if you believe something is possible, it probably is. And if you believe something is impossible, it almost definitely will be. The combination of belief and hard work can yield unbelievable results.

I think of how specific paths can be, each one, while seeming small can lead here, then there, and though appearing random they end up taking you through as specific a trail and line of events as the ones we read of in our history books. Landing my first teaching job proved to be an incredible task. I can't even tell you how much public education is just a good-ole-boy system, and since I didn't know anyone or have any real contacts no one was giving me the time of day - not even an interview, (so much so, that once I found a posting for a school actually needing someone capable AND Kentucky-certified to teach both English and Spanish classes.) How many of these people there are in Bumbkinsville-Spencer-County I'm not sure, but I'm going to guess few to none. However, I didn't even get a call-back. (I'm sure Aunt Debbie's uncle's sister's nephew got a favor called in and was soon emergency-certified and got the job instead.) All this to say, if other things had worked out then I know Somerset would not have, and I'm glad it did.

After teaching for maybe two months and having already made about six students cry (after that I soon lost track) I wasn't sure if I was in the right profession. But as year trekked on and I began finding my mold, it was amazing to see some of the things I was capable of. While I learned that no matter what you can't win them all, you most certainly can win some if you try hard enough. There were some students that absolutely hated me (as in they probably wished I would die in a car wreck or a stampede) but by the end, some of these same students completely loved me. Of course, there were some students I would never win, but it made the chances to speak light into darkness that much greater during my opportunity to do so. And it was I'm sure, in some capacity or another, the wonder of these victories that could inspire some of the music I created in the last year. For during this time, I wrote such songs as Greenland, Daughter of Zion, I Am Kentucky, Destiny, and I also re-worked Goodnight, Goodnight. Three of these songs ended up on my EP, and the other two will undoubtedly be used in other projects.

I was offered a job in Campbellsville, which I accepted gladly, but it was a bittersweet parting. Sometimes my students would ask me about the marriage of music and teaching, how that will work if something happens with my music, to which I have never had the answer. But I'll keep moving forward with both writing songs and speaking into the lives of high schoolers, hoping each year will bring forth more than the previous. More creative, spiritual, and relational victories.